Revenge on the 1-star Reviewer

Today I’m feeling inspired by Tinney Heath over at Historical Fiction Research. Tinney has put together a funny put-down of the infamous evil book reviewer.

Readers suffer from misleading, dishonest reviews, and as writers we live beneath the Damocles sword of unfair ratings. A 1-star review delivers a crushing blow to the delicate psyche of writers, yet there are those who revel in dealing this pain. We call them trolls (yes, it’s a technical term).

As long as I’ve been reviewing, I’ve only left one 1-star review. It was well-deserved, I thought, for the appropriation and annihilation of another author’s work–Great Illustrated Classics version of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. But sometimes reviewers post 1-star ratings for the sole purpose of bringing an author down, perhaps in a misguided belief this will elevate his or her own book or the book of a friend. It doesn’t work.

An undeserved rating hurts everyone.

Tinney Heath has challenged writers (hey, you don’t even have to endure icy cold for this one; plus, no buckets needed) to exact a little good-natured revenge in our own writerly way. To that end, satirical or ridiculous verse is encouraged to be savored by readers and writers alike. You can view her post here, a must-read. Head over there and enjoy the many witty offerings!

So…I accepted the challenge and penned a silly limerick:

There once was a one star reviewer
Who lusted for novels to skewer
And his only regret—
He could never beget
A rating of any stars fewer.

Okay, so now I challenge you. Can you add to the sacred volumes of silly verse? You know you want to.